Can you think of a time when your life wasn’t rushed? When you could sleep in until your brain and body were fully rested, or when you could take your time to get from one place to another.

From childhood, we’ve rushed through everything. There was always a destination we needed to go to by a certain time, a project that needed to be completed, applications, papers, or life demands that needed to be met ASAP! Stress has been a part of our lives since our youth, especially as Black womxn and womxn of color. And growing up as daughters of Immigrants, daily interactions with our parents involved frequent reflexive, overreactions!

Stress not only takes a psychological toll on us, but a physiological toll as well. Its impact has an exponential compound effect on our organs and nervous systems. Under usual conditions, the systems in our bodies collaborate seamlessly to take in what’s going on in our environments, while keeping our inner world balanced. But when we work under chronic stress, our brain signals our stress response system (sympathetic nervous system) and our survival brain then takes the lead from our thinking brain. When this happens, we get signals such as fatigue, stomachaches, or brain fog, making it difficult to complete our work and even think straight. The solution is resting and allowing our bodies adequate time to recalibrate. However, our cultures and society encourage that we override our signals and push past our limits to be productive, work hard, and fulfill our daily obligations. We even use external tools to manipulate our bodies to keep up; drinking coffee, ingesting large amounts of sugar (I’m guilty!), and/or other stimulants. On the opposite spectrum of external coping tools, you might drink a glass of wine at the end of the day, or aimlessly scroll on social media to slow your mind down, check out and disconnect from your body signals.

This is a bandaid approach to addressing the root issue of unrealistic demands. As long as chronic stress is in your daily life, your stress response system will stay activated. The signals get louder, stronger and other organs get recruited in an attempt to grab your attention to stop the stress. Some of the long term effects of chronic stress putting your brain and body in survival mode are chronic conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome, panic attacks (I had these!), high blood pressure, and even strokes.

So what can you do? Once you decide that your wellbeing is a priority, look at your to do list and determine which task is causing the most stress. Can you ask for help to complete it? Can you extend the deadline or delegate the task altogether? Your brain and body will appreciate you!

When I first made this decision, it was difficult to wrap my head around. I wanted to FEEL productive and worthy. But I realized my wellbeing is more important than any task. Eventually, I slowly shortened my to-do list and recalibrated my mind body connection. I added gaps 10 minute intervals between appointments. I allowed myself to get comfortable with doing less. There was a shift in my habits, less urgency in my decisions. A release of worthiness from my productivity. On a neurological level, I was retraining my brain and body to operate and function from a place of balance (parasympathetic nervous system rest and digest state) and with my thinking brain taking lead. Stress no longer gets on my nerves!